Random thoughts from a Mom...

So now that I am a Mom, I have been privy to a whole new world I never knew existed. Please buckle your seatbelts as you enter this ride, as it can get more random and confusing than a 7th grade ADHD boy on no meds...

1. The grocery store baby ooglers...

Ok. I get it. Babies are cute. Mine happens to be a sexy beast. If there was a contest for sexy beast babies, he would win hands down. What I wonder is this... why do people feel the need to try to get bowed in the face when they uninvitingly try to stick theirs in Jaxon's car seat on the basket to oogle how cute he is? Did people do this before to other babies and I just not notice? THis is why I usually wear him out in public. It is time to take 2 more minutes in the car, with the K'tan and strap him on. I dare you to get in this Momma bear's bubble... back back, back back, give me 50 feet.

2. The touchers...

Rule #1, and I know you are sweet ladies at my church, but baby girl.... if I don't know your first name, playa... don't touch. the. baby. WHY!?

3. The Spanish Inquisition...

So I know that motherhood bonds females in a special way... I am wondering though that when I encounter either #1 or #2 it is also paired with a barrage of the same questions: How much did he weigh when he was born? (7 lbs 10 oz...) Was he long? (21 inches) Wow... how long were you in labor? (11 hours start to finish) Did your water break (yes) or did the doctor have to break it for you? How long did you have to push (3 LONG hours)? Vaginal or C-section?..... ok. brakes please. Now, this is one thing-- AGAIN, if I know your first name, we are probably tight enough for me to tell you all about my birth story, and I would be obliged to share info. BUT-- if you don't know me, you don't need to know about the trauma my whoo-whoo went through, AND it isn't any of your business if he indeed came out that way. I don't know your name, much less want to invite you into my woman part world. MMM kay?

4. The OMG you had a baby people...

This bugs me. Yes, I had a baby. Yes, I am breastfeeding *in case you forgot this in your inquisition*, and I am dropping weight like a fly. This is more directed at the girl in front of me at HEB yesterday. So after she labeled herself as a #1, she said, "WOW, so you are really out walking and everything? I thought that when you had a baby you totally couldn't walk for like forever after going through that!" Mmmm.... please go back to health or science class. Yes, it is the craziest, mind blowing, painful thing a human could endure, but it isn't going to debilitate you for forever. Can I slap her please?

5. Old ladies who are judgmental...

YES I went back to work. YES I have to work. NO I can't stay home. YES he is in daycare. NO I don't feel like a bad mother for it. YES I pick him up when he cries and hold him as long as I damn well please. YES I co-sleep with him. NO I am not going to give him water in a bottle or peppermint sticks for gas. YES I vaccinate. YES he is in a rear facing carseat, and it is strapped at all times. NO I do not nurse him in a moving vehicle. YES we use disposable diapers. AND just because it worked for you or that is what they did 400 years ago, does not mean that it is a good idea or will put my child in therapy for it now.

I am sure there are more, I just can't wrap my brain around it at the moment... OH, did I mention the Warbler GLEE! Album came out yesterday and I totally have it? Blaine rocks my socks... too bad he's gay, right?