Monday, December 27, 2010

toys...

Is it possible to want to have a baby just to play with the toys? I can already say guilty as charged... I bought my nephew a "My Pal Scout" Leapfrog stuffed dog that is interactive and teaches as well as sings... Yep. I caved. I loved it so much I went out in the crazed day after Christmas hustle and bustle, and bought one for my in-utero bff. It's already out of the box and programmed. It spelled his name in an ABC song, and sang about milk... because right off the bat, that's going to be his favorite food! Right?


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tomorrow is set up-ultimate nesting frenzy-nursery kung foo day. THis little buddy can keep Jaxon's swing occupied. 6 weeks to go... 6 scary stress filled pins and needly kind of weeks. Please God, don't fulfill my nightmares and let me go into labor at school.... the thought of my water breaking in front of 7th graders freaks me out in more ways than you know... 

Monday, November 22, 2010

What a day...

First it was a fight with a bottle of orange death...


Ok.... so the first sip wasn't bad... Like a real sweet orange Hawaiian Punch... but have I told you how much I HATE Hawaiian Punch? Even when it's mixed with Everclear and fruit cocktail and served in a trashcan. That's what I tried to envision while gulping this down... half way through, I felt like Adam on Man VS. Food.... The drink was winning. My throat burned and I already felt like I was "jacked up on Mountain Dew!"... ugh. The last sip went down with a fight... "Momma! I don't want to drink it!!!!!" I successfully consumed it in the allotted time, met my friend the infamous "pot head looking phlebotomist" who sucked out 4 tubes of blood and kindly let me know "this is the last time we'll probably have to see each other if all goes well!" Who is he kidding?.... I am sure there is a dark secret that lurks in the files... they want to stick me every time I go! I did the ritual "collection of the party cup" in the bano and met up with Kelsey, the sweetest nurse ever, who checked my weight (only have gained 14 pounds in the last 28 1/2 weeks! WHOO!) and led me to a room where I saw this...


The syringe looked like something straight up off of a sci-fi flick where they do bad alien experiments.... then she told me to drop my pants and she was gonna stick my right butt cheek!!!! KELSEY! WHY!? I thought we were friends!!!! No one ever told me it was going to be a booty shot. BOOTY! IN. THE. BOOTY. Ok, here's the deal. I am afraid of needles... No, I am not kidding. SCARED. TO. DEATH. Especially when it's a booty shot. That is never good. Booty shots are for the real bad ones that are thick and meant for cattle. Yup.... it hurt. Good thing she took my blood pressure BEFORE I found out it was a booty shot. Last time I got one I was 19 and had an infected spider bite. It was one of those nasty antibiotic glue thick ones... I told the nurse I was going to kick her... I screamed... I bucked... They had another nurse come in to hold me down. Yup..... This time I acted more grown up about it, but I would be lying if I said I didn't scream OW! She said she was sorry....

yeah right. I didn't even get a sticker!



Did I mention the muse has come back to visit? Or maybe I just have rediscovered my l.o.v.e. for writing again. Whatever it is... I hope she doesn't peace out on vacay. Maybe I owe it to the Soup Lady... She always has such wonderful stories... 

Oh. I went shopping... yeah, retail therapy always makes shots better.

Arch-nemesis...


BEHOLD!!!!! I give you my arch-nemesis... T minus 1 minute until chug time... I am scared to death I am gonna hurl. Then I get to drive 45 minutes to the Dr. Get blood shanked from my arm, get a shot, pee in a cup... the opportunities for what else in store is endless... UGH. I am taking myself shopping. Details on the survival mission to come...

Saturday, November 20, 2010

LET'S GET THE SHOW ON THE ROAD!!!

I close my eyes and I see this room...


But when I open them... I see this room...


Does someone have a magic wand they can loan me? Does Hermoine Granger have a spell to put together my nursery? I have awesome painted walls, the name is secured in it's spot... a crib ready to be assembled and lavished with cute monkey bedding. There's also clothes and various toys spread as far as the eye can see, along with a catch all magnet that seems to be collecting non-baby things. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE? 11 weeks to go... Will baby Jaxon's room get finished in time? I sure hope so!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Let's try this writing thing...

So it's been a while... ok, a really long while. They say when you are preggo that your mind wanders endlessly, and you lose it. Literally, you lose your mind and your thoughts. I think i've lost my muse. She is missing! Perhaps I should take out a want ad?





Today was baby dedication day for my precious Frog Man, Andrew, the precious little nephew that has given me a lot of clarity on being a mommy... well maybe. He has definitely gotten me real excited to hold my own Baby Jaxon when February gets here. The priceless photo of the day:


Yep..... That's right folks! Jason Woodall actually held a baby today. A real live baby. You see, it always boggles my mind why guys just don't want to hold babies. How could you not??!?!? I would think he would want all the practice he could get to prep for the real game. Today while we were having the luncheon for Andrew's baby dedication at his church, Jason looked at me and said, "I wanna hold him." Como what? Of course I jumped at the thought! He, of course, like a new Dad, wanted to make sure he was doing it right. "All you do, is hold him just like a football!", I kept telling him. "Yeah," he mumbled, "but you can't hurt a football." I think he looks just great. He's ready Coach! put in Daddy Woodall to the play. He's so got this. On a side note, I wrangled my sister to take a real preggo pic of me for the world to see. I was tired of the frumpy photo booth ones I had to take myself.... not too bad if you ask me. I think I could get used to this mommy thing... real quick.


I mean.... we look like we could be parents? Don't we?


Toasting you with my non-alcoholic bev of choice... oh how I miss wine. Have one for me won't you? 

Monday, September 20, 2010

For a moment like this...

It's in the evening, it's pouring down rain, and cheerleaders are huddled amidst the sprinkles waiting for parents to arrive. I see him coming towards me, with that same big smile I remember him having when he was only 12 and a scared 7th grader walking in and out of my door every day. He approaches me, arms open wide and gives me a big hug. "You remember me don't you?" He asks. "Remember you!?" I say with a laugh, "How could I NOT? I remember every single one of my babies!" "Well...", he says, "I didn't know if you would remember me or not, since I am in high school now, some teachers do that. They forget who you are, and when you see them in public or at the store or something they act like they have no idea who you are. I was scared you wouldn't remember me, and if that happened, I would be real sad. You were my favorite teacher here, and we were real tight. You were always there for me not just for help when I didn't understand things, but you cared for me too as a person... I never got the chance to thank you for that." (Can you already see the tears? YES!) I. was. speechless. This is why I do what I do folks. For moments like this. Glimmers of time when I see students have successes in their futures. For them to come back, and remember what I taught them... to let me know that I really did make a difference in their lives... and they say teachers don't make a lot. Really? Is your job as rewarding as mine? I bet it isn't. I make kiddos believe in themselves for the first time, when people (maybe even their OWN parents) tell them they are worthless... I capture a child's heart and mind and help them discover just how smart they really are. I give them the tools to be successful, productive people in society. I help them to understand the value of hard work. What do you do? Work behind a desk, chomping numbers while drinking your Starbucks making 6 figures a year? That's great and all... But in the end, I am the richer person.

Loving life, loving my job.

Thank you God for calling me to be a teacher. Continue to work through me to bless the lives of all the babies I touch each day. Help me to help them realize the value they truly have here on Earth. Keep it comin'... I am truly blessed!

Bring on Tuesday folks! I'm ready!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Little Miss Muffet...

Little Miss Muffet
Laid on her Tuffet
Sleeping the morn away...

Along came a text
From Mr. Muffet ... About the Spider that lived in the wreath on the porch...


Her web had been growing for weeks and weeks, yet she never showed her face...



We found the remnants of her carnage... ensuing an irreversible sleep to those crossing her path...


 poor Cicada...

In the end she lost, we sprayed her with some bug sauce... and now SHE is the one sleeping on the porch.


 (EEEK! This is post carnage after a liberal spray with bug spray... This is ALL body... the tennis ball gives you a little perspective on the size.)


 

Yep... Tell-tale red hour glass on the tummy... this is one mean biatch. Scary thing is, There is no telling how long it was living on my porch, with many nights entering with the porch light off... *shivers* GROW-DEE.... Yet, how cool is that?

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Random thoughts... and such

1. Why is it that sheep don't shrink when it rains on a hot day, but if my sweater is wet and gets a little warm, I can't wear it anymore?

2. Why is it that strange little children come up to me in public and ask me questions? Does something magical happen when you become a teacher? Do you gain a certain "school smell" that attracts strange kids?

3. Why don't people accept good advice from someone experienced?

4. Why is humor and sarcasm such a big deal to some people? Are there just people in this world that "don't get it?" Will they ever "get it?" and if they don't... can I send them to live on their own island?

5. Is it acceptable to punch random annoying people in the face? Or is a stink eye perfectly acceptable? What if they don't get the stink eye... See #4. I am sure they are the same type of people.

6. There some people that should not even think about reproducing... I think all the condoms the government wants to dish out to Kindergartners and school children should be sent UPS express to these individuals. With a color fold out of instructions, and why they are doing society a favor. (Yes.... you may be offended by this one. But you KNOW there is someone you have seen/know/are related to that falls in this category...)

7. There are some people in this world that need to realize that grammar and correct speech save lives... especially in my presence. 

8. It feels good to be on my soap box sometimes.. I should do it more often. At the moment, my darling baby thinks it's a good idea to have an ice cream cone. While in the future, I am sure I will say no, because it will ruin her dinner... but seeing as how I could devour a whole Brontosaurs solo at the moment.... I think she has a great idea.

peace, love, ice cream and pickles...

hormonal pregnant rants are awesome.

Monday, July 26, 2010

A baby! What?... A baby?

Yes, that's right. There is going to be a baby in JFTB land, and that baby happens to be mine! You can imagine over the course of 3 months how hard it has been to not want to just sign in and blog about every little moment. Well, some people I know are quick to jump the gun and want to tell the world they are having a baby before the pee on the pregnancy test is dry... I feel, however, a practical approach to things is sometimes best, and I'm glad I did. For one, I have discovered that when you officially tattoo your forehead "I'M PREGNANT" every woman over the age of 50 has some horror story to tell you, or they want to talk about their pregnancy or this and that, breast this, blood and guts... blah blah blah.

Sorry ladies, the only uterus this girl cares about is her own. Please save the blood and gore for another victim. Which makes me wonder... why are they compelled to tell you that crap? Technology is so much better than it was 30 years ago. My ultrasound pictures resemble a baby growing in my body, if I were to whip out my baby book and take a look at the sonogram picture, it would resemble something that looks like someone forgot to pay their cable bill. I don't understand why older women want you to hear about Aunt Mable's 38 hr labor with no drugs, down at the barn and Uncle Jed had to cut the cord with his rusty pocket knife before the doctor could even get there.... I'm already pregnant. If you want to decrease the number of teen pregnancies, this should be your audience, not me. I have a career and I'm willingly starting a family, the "right way".

I will say, at the moment it is still slightly surreal. I have passed the sick and tired stage, thank goodness, although I can proudly say that I never had bad "morning sickness" (it's ok, if you did... you can hypothetically punch me now), I never threw up (but I can say I came close, but I have an intense fear of barf... even if it's my own, which probably psyched me out of barfing... yes, and I'm going to have an infant...), just very tired and not feeling myself. Now I'm in a new place, where none of my clothes fit, but the maternity clothes I bought (because I don't see the point in buying clothes I may or may not be able to wear in a few months... why not go in for the long haul) are in an awkward not totally fitting right phase. When I think I feel HER (because it is going to be a girl... ) I discover it is just the wonderful blessing of pregnancy gas. Although, the other day, I did feel like a little goldfish was swimming in there... you know, like when you have a goldfish in the bag, and it is bumping the sides trying to get out?  

It's all new, and it's all exciting. I have such GREAT friends that are moms and new moms. I can't wait to learn a lot from them. I'm just hoping I'm as awesome of a mom as my mom... because she's the cat's pajamas.


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Wednesday, July 14, 2010

FML...

let's recap.... a series of events from the last hour. After being gone almost a week, we come home to a snake slithering in front of the house, Jason kills it by slamming it with a rubber mallet. Inside the house, I discover that 2 of 3 cats somehow got locked in the guest room and made a HORRID mess, (meaning they pooped all over the floor in front of the door, and throughly peed all over the folded comforter on the bed). They somehow ruined Jason's brand new Calvin Klein suit (with the tags still on, and plastic bag cover) that was on the floor outside the room, (it was hanging in the doorway when we left) It seems while digging at the door in panic they brought some of the suit under the door, and peed on it also ripping the sleeve), AND we discovered the water hose had been left on the whole time we were gone. Fortunately (maybe) the sprayer attachment was on, but water was shooting out like Spindletop from the spigot at the top of the hose. 
So... A.) I'm thankful our house wasn't broken into.
 B.) That would have topped it all off. We could have torched the place at stayed the night at a Holiday Inn.


 Needless to say, Team Woodall hates life right now... And Baylee and Ladle are recovering concentration camp victims.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Good things brewing on the block...

There are some good things in store for JFTB. I must say, in the last 2 months I have been privy to some of God's greatest blessings, and can't wait to see what else he has in store. On a side note, I must say, I am NOT a green thumb by any means, but I can manage to grow a mean banana pepper... (As my Ouiser Boudreaux spring break garden experiment hoped to produce)


As you can see, some are twice the length of my index finger! I've seen these pickled and ready to go for sandwiches at Subway, but I don't know much else about them. Guess we'll see! This has to be the worst blog post in the history of blogs, but I haven't felt much like writing lately... Do I have a fever? Am I sick? Maybe the writing bug will bite soon... In the mean time. Happy growing! Sometimes the secret is in the garden keeper! :)

Friday, May 21, 2010

Today is O dot M dot G day.

"The Snake Charmer" by Henri Rousseau

"I'm naked and snakes are everywhere! I knew I shouldn't have eaten those mushrooms back there!"

Gardening with Ouiser Boudreaux (based off of Billy Collins' poem "Shoveling Snow With Buddha")

I pull into the driveway from a long excursion at Lowes, and with my husband's help we cart in 40 bags of top soil, organic matter, landscaping timbers and such. Jason assembles the timbers into a box-like shape to hold the dirt for my raised garden. I wait inside in the a/c for my friend Ouiser Boudreaux to show up. I am glad she is coming to help because I am NO green thumb, and Jason doesn't do plants. It isn't 5 minutes later and Ouiser just comes waltzing into my living room, slamming the front door shut like she owns the place. "In case your wondering," she snickers, "I didn't see the point of knocking because you know I am here! You can't help but know when the neighbor 6 doors down is home because of your dog's insane bass bark." I smile and pat Duke on the head. "You are momma's baby boy!" I coo at him and scratch his chin. He grunts just like he did when he was a puppy. Ouiser can do nothing but stick her tongue out at me. 
We head to the backyard and I don't even make it to the back door when she starts in on me. "For Christ's sake! You can't go out in that crap!" she snaps. "What ever are you talking about? Athletic shorts, a tee shirt and this baseball cap are perfectly appropriate for this mission, love." I can't take it when she thinks she knows everything. "Well what am I supposed to wear? I am gardening for crying out loud!" I scream at her, because talking nice never gets me anywhere. "You have to wear overalls, a ratty white tee," she tosses me a straw hat, "and this ugly ass hat." We get outside and work the earth, and magic starts to happen in her hands. We talk about life, our families and she taught me some valuable lessons....

1. Southern women are destined to grow old, wear ugly clothes and grow vegetables in the dirt. 
2. Tell it like it is... always.
3. Fake people can kiss your ass.
4. Ugly overalls make tomatoes grow faster.


Today, I get to watch childhood favorite TV shows (Hey Dude and Salute Your Shorts) I found on Itunes!

~Twanda, out.


Thursday, May 20, 2010

The Awe-manac... Day uno.

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A big thanks to the Soup-Lady, Mama-O, et. al. for highly persuading me to get this diddy. It will save my life.

Today is: "Homie don't..." day

"Souls wouldn't wear suits and ties, they'd wear blue jeans and sit cross-legged with a glass of red wine.  ~Carrie Latet"

* Souls would congregate on my back porch on a warm crisp summer night. The scent of citronella would linger on the night breeze, keeping mosquitos at bay on this night entranced with laughter. Souls would talk about REAL things... They would comment on their husbands, and who is doing what, and when and why. They would talk about that crazy sister of theirs, and weird guy. Pets, babies, wanting to have babies... it would all come out in the wash. Souls would talk about the good and the bad. Souls would find refuge on my porch. It would be the YA-YA mecca of the century. The souls hobbies would have to include a divine appreciation for all that is wine, because it would be seriously flowing on the porch. The souls would know how to dance. Sweet Home Alabama playing in the back ground. The souls know how to do everything from "The Lawn Mower" to the "Soulja Boy". You never quite know what the moment may call for. What happens on the porch, stays on the porch.

My Relationship with Jeans....
     I would say all women have a love/hate relationship with jeans. On most days, I LOVE my jeans. Notice I said... 'most days'. The things I love about jeans:

1. I love wearing jeans to work. There is something about wearing them that says, "Please mess with me today, I am wearing jeans and can easily kick your ass."

2. Jeans are the only pair of pants that get better the more days you wear them. Granted, they may smell a bit funky (invest in some Febreeze), but they fit like a million bucks the second day you wear them.

3. They are easy to wash. They are husband proof in the laundry. You can't screw up washing jeans.

4. No ironing required. Nuff said.

5. The right pair can make your butt look like you are 18 and ready to rock.

6. They play the same role as that tuxedo t-shirt. You can be formal, or ready to party...

The things I HATE about jeans...

1. If you wear a pair too small, you have the potential to 'muffin-top'. That is grounds for immediate fashion police citation.

2. It is not okay when your fat jeans become your NOT fat jeans...

3. It super sucks when it is raining and you are wearing jeans and the bottoms get wet in the rain, and you aren't going directly home where you can change out of your soggy bottomed pantaloons. 

4. I hate it when jeans play a big "SIKE!" and aren't 100% dry from the dryer, and you don't find out until pulling them all the way up to discover it is the crotch. There is that defining moment where you think for a second, " Did I just pee myself?"

5. I also hate it when you experience "dryer shrinkage" and have to do the fat girl jeans dance, to get them on... 

My Momma once said she would love to be buried in her jeans. I think jeans are amazing. 

Stay tuned for more from my porch....

Peace.
Love. and Recycle.



Tuesday, May 18, 2010

The first official rejection notice is fuel for the fire...

I get this email in my box:

Hi Jennifer,

Infinite apologies for taking so long to get back to you; I've been
swamped with submissions, and I'm reading slower than I thought
possible.

I want to thank you so much for writing to The Rumpus. I'm sorry to
say that your submission is just not right for us, and we're going to
pass on it. Nevertheless, we really appreciate you submitting and
contributing to the revolution!

Also, wow, middle school English teacher. Mine changed my life. While
it's a noble profession, I also hope you trade it in for best-selling
novels. That's the dream.

Very best,

E*******
Editor
Funny Women





I will have you know, Miss Thang--- that just because I don't write overly heinous vulgar for humor... I will still make you wet your pants. Please come over and sit in my presence with a bottle of wine, and see if you won't secretly go to the bathroom and hook yourself up with a precautionary pad or a set of Depends... It is on like Donkey Kong.

Friday, May 14, 2010

survival mode.... take 1

I miss my little Duke. It's so odd.... what did I used to do before I had met him? I know we only had him for about a day, before he spent this last numbered days at the vet.... but we bonded from the moment I brought him home. I gave him a bath, and he smelled like baby powder... he snuggled with me and he knew I was his momma.... I just get so sad when I think about it... now I know how a mother feels when she miscarries... even though it isn't the same.

13 more days of school left.... 12 FULL days of school left... I am in extreme survival mode. The kids are going insane... bad choices left and right. It is anything and everything I can do to keep them from swinging from the ceilings and going full out anarchy. Breathe in... breathe out.... breathe in... breathe out...

Summer is almost here.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Good bye my Chocolate Baby...

At 7:30 this  morning, Dr. Schroeder called and let me know that we lost Duke some time in the middle of the night. I know they did all they could, but that still doesn't explain to my heart why I feel so wrenched with pain. We only had him 5 days, but I feel like it was an eternity... I spent 3 sleepless nights with him, trying to nurse his little body back to health. I prayed, OH how I prayed... so hard for him to get better. I know God heard my prayers.... did I pray the right words?


I miss him already...
Sir Duke Kilgore 
(2/4/2010-5/8/2010)

Friday, May 7, 2010

Is that light at the end of the tunnel?

Today Duke got somewhat good news. At the beginning of the day, there wasn't much of a change going on... he is still vomiting and not eating. However, at the end of the day, I talked to the doctor, and he seemed to think that Duke was looking better than he was yesterday. I can roll with that. He is sitting up and looking around instead of just laying there, which is good stuff. If he can just eat for them, and hold it in.... we can start the thoughts of coming home. I miss that little guy... and Lord knows I love him to death. He's had a long week with Team Woodall.

God,

Thank you for the advances Duke has made. I know that sometimes it takes baby steps to get there. Help me to be patient through this, continue to heal by baby's body, give him strength and comfort from pain. Help him to eat, and to continue to get better so he can come home to us. I know things happen for a reason, I am giving it to your hands.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Hope and pray... hope and pray... repeat.

Duke got a visit by Jason and I today after work. He looks so weak. Tracy (the god send tech from heaven) says he looks worse today than yesterday. He still hasn't eaten anything, he is still losing fluids... They are trying tamiflu and some other things in his IV to see if they help. She said tonight is crucial for him... all we can do is pray. I love that little boy... more news tomorrow. Hoping we are playing fetch by next Friday...

Father God,

On this, the National Day of Prayer, be with our government leaders that thought it was not important enough to recognize this go around... Be with Baby Duke, heal him Lord-- and give him comfort. Be with Tracy as she cares for him Lord, be her guide as she is nursing him back to health. Give Jason and I the courage to endure this, and to make the right decisions. I give him to you, and lift him up in your hands. You, the great healer, are the one in the driver's seat. Give him healing Lord, so we can bring him home...

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

My heart aches for a love I hardly even know...

My baby Duke took two steps back today at the vet. I was informed it would be best he stay the night to see if progression is made. We are in it to win it now. I haven't really eaten since Monday morning (which could do well for my transition figure), and have hardly even slept. This break will be good for the both of us. It is day 3 of Duke being our own, and My heart hurts like I have had him for years... I hope he pulls through so he can see just how cool life in my world can really be.

So tired.
So sad.
feeling defeated.
maybe this is just half time...

looking for that hail mary play coach, that is going to win this game.

God how I miss him.

On an unrelated note, my lack of sleep last night prompted me to wear my glasses, sans-make up today. I had 3 ultra diva, fashion police students tell me I looked very pretty today, or that i look pretty in glasses. It felt good, considering I feel my ugliest, inside and out. Maybe they are lying.... ugh. I'll take it for what it is and roll with it.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Duke day 2...

Well, Duke is hanging on. I am a survivor, I am from a long line of survivor/fighter people. He is going to do the same, at least that is what I pray. He made it through the night, Jason took him to the vet this morning, and it was agreed it was best to "day care" him with IV fluids, and the works. This is such a blessing since Jason and I both work. It is a relief that he won't be miserable in a kennel all day long. I am also so blessed to have a sweet husband with a love for animals. Unfortunately, this has led our house to become a menagerie, home to 3 big fish, a turtle, 3 cats, and now Duke, our love, our sweet Chocolate baby. The vet reported that his fever had broken when I talked to him around 2:00, he was alert, and the fluids seemed to be doing him good. Of course, the little guy isn't out of the woods yet, we have to take it day by day. I am praying so hard for him... It breaks my heart that at the age of 12 weeks (today to be exact) he is already having it rough. Fortunate for him, he has found us, a family that is going to try everything we can to get him to pull through.

P.S. at the end of that sentence, it was scary to hear rustling in the kennel to discover severe traumatic projectile pooping of mystery fluids and roundworms. God, I know I had aspirations of being a vet, but this is not exactly how I pictured channeling that energy.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Life is more than unfair...

So my little boy has numbered minutes with me and Jason. He was diagnosed at the vet today with Parvo. Not only does he have Parvo, but he has roundworms too. The worms are making him sick, while the Parvo virus goes to town, killing him slowly. Why couldn't this little boy just be healthy and be the thing Jason and I could take care of as our own? So, so, so unfair. Jason is at a regional tournament in Huntsville, slowly and painfully on his way home. We contacted the breeder and he feels terrible about it. He wants to take Duke back, and refund our money and the vet bill cost. The upsetting fact to this is he most likely will put him to sleep. This leaves Jason and I with a painful decision. We either take this baby, and spend an undeterminable amount of money caring for him and nursing him, with the understanding he may not make it, or give him back to his owner... knowing his fate. I have never been this devastated or at a loss.

Dear God,

I know you are the almighty healer. You have a plan for everything. Lord, I don't know what your plan for this is, I don't know why this little baby was put into my hands... but all I ask is that you help me to make the right choice. Give me comfort and strength to be able to deal with my decision. Help me to understand why things like this happen. Bring comfort and peace to little Duke, Lord. If it is your will that he gets to stay with me, heal his little body and bring him healing. I give this all to you. Amen.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

He stole my heart...

So the puppy excursion ended with us coming home with a HE instead of the planned SHE... isn't it odd how that works? Here he is...


Sir Duke Kilgore Woodall

He is such a good boy. He went straight to his crate and feels so at home there. Good thing. That makes leaving him in there when Jason and I go to work a breeze.... 



I think we are going to be great friends...

Friday, April 30, 2010

That face...

mail.jpg


Yep.... this face is exactly why I am caving into my husband's child-like intense begging to get a dog. I get this email, and all it says is "awwwwww...." We go get her on Sunday. There is going to be a cat uprising in my house, I fear. Details and pictures to come soon! As well as a name... I am rooting for Brylee (Bry-lee) or Katie. What can I say, I give my animals human names (well, except for Ladle, because he came that way...)


p.s. Pray that I don't have to get ugly when Jason wants it to sleep in bed with us Sunday night. I may resort to camping in the kitty compound (aka, the guest room)

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

wondering...


I am wondering.... just wondering. Maybe it will turn into a story...

Saturday, April 17, 2010

A rainy day writing extravaganza...



So, this is the picture I was commissioned to write about in a current writing contest. Here is what I have come up with so far... not entirely, and wholly in absolute love with it, but... it is a start. I was writing today--For 4 hours straight. So it's fiction. Who cares! The bug has bitten, and I like it.



The leaves skittered over the ground, dancing as the wind carried them under a mosaic-tiled heaven. This place held so many memories. He carried me as if I was weightless when we danced that night. So much passion in the air, you could cut it with a knife. It was an odd place to hold a wedding reception I told her, but she didn’t care. It was stunning. Gorgeous. Mystical. It was as if time could stand still in this place; she could preserve her happiness, the memory of her wedding day, in a jar.

Snow blanketed the countryside, and it looked as if we may be trapped inside forever. I hate winter in New England. It plagues me to think what could have possessed me to move here from Texas-- The sweltering heat of the summer there is just as bad as this white winter hell.  My best friend Lindsey was visiting from Houston, and I was glad for her company. I had just recently divorced a supremely toxic terror. I was a free bird, but my wings felt clipped. Lindsey was a prima donna. I am quite sure I was the only one she went to for help with this wedding. She loved Central Park, and had aspirations of getting married there some day.  I told her she was moonstruck if she thought a nightly affair in that place was safe. I had seen the news, and often it was enough to make me jump out of my skin, but it was her ordeal, and I didn’t want to rain on her parade.

We visited the park, once the snow had started to melt, waltzing to Belvedere Castle, Shakespeare’s garden and every single other place one might think of having a wedding. She was about to wear me out. The trip was about to thankfully end when we stumbled upon Bethseda Terrace. Its Greco-Roman ambiance reminded me of our wine trip to Tuscany when we graduated college. “This is it!” she shouted at me and gripped my arm so tight it almost bled. “Freaking chill!” I winced, and we both broke into laughter. It really was perfect for her. Her fiancé had connections in New York, and it would be no problem to close it down on a weekday. The ceremony would be right by the fountain, just an eye shot away from this gorgeous grotto. The blues in the ceiling tiles would complement the ocean that was her eyes. I was always jealous of those.

The next few months flew by like minutes as we narrowed it down to the final detail.  I was most excited to sink my teeth into the food. We had eaten at just about every restaurant in town, when I finally decided to call Carrie, my ex-sister in law, to run in a favor. I hated every second I dialed the number to Aureole, the upscale restaurant she had pride in doing accounting for. The sad part to it all was Lindsey, Carrie and I used to be best friends in our younger days. In fact, Carrie is how I met Steven, the husband from the deepest pit of hell. Terrible memories swarmed me as I thought of this, one ring… two rings… three rings… I was about to hang up when I heard her voice. “Charlie Palmer’s Aureole—This is Carrie Drews in accounting,” my heart felt like a giant brick of ice. “Hey, Care… it’s uh, Kate. Listen, I know this may be awkward, but Linds is getting married, and we were wondering if you could strike a deal and cater the wedding?” Thump. Thump. Thump… faster and faster my heart was beating, and she wasn’t giving me an answer. Static and silence consumed my ears. It was deafening. “So! Little miss thing is getting hitched finally,” she snickered devilishly, “Well, I imagine after the way my prick of an older brother treated you, I at least owe you a bit of something, considering it was my fault you fell in love with his dumb ass in the first place.” Carrie and I weren’t exactly speaking since the divorce and the trial. It wasn’t as if we were bitter with each other, but once Steven was tried for manslaughter, the whole family sort of crumbled apart. He was their shining star. “I don’t feel like you owe me anything,” I managed to get out, “I just want to make sure I don’t suck ass as a maid of honor.” She laughed that old familiar laugh, and it made me smile. Her laughter was the best medicine back in those days. Lindsey, Carrie and I would stay up for hours and make jokes just to hear her laugh. There were several sofas almost ruined because it never failed someone ended up wetting their pants. “Alright,” she sighed with resolution, “I’ll do it.  But don’t think this is some kind of reconnection or a rekindling of some sort. I am purely doing it out of memory for an old friendship.” What kind of shitty response was that? I thought to myself. I would take it though, and roll with the punches, just like I had done for too many years.

Lindsey’s wedding day was nothing short of breathtaking. I have never seen a more gorgeous bride, even when staring at the mirror and looking at myself the day I decided to take the plunge 6 years ago. The reception came, and the food was heavenly. Carrie pulled through, just like I hoped she would. Lindsey set me up with a friend of a friend named Gavin, a debonair angelic-looking piece of human perfection. I was almost scared to say yes to her when she told me her plot. Apparently Gavin was going to be attending the wedding without a date, and she felt he would be just the thing to get my mind off of my horrid past and start over. This guy was supposed to be the missing feathers to make my wings spread and fly. I would be seriously lying if I said my body did not turn into melting butter in his hands. I was lustfully, sinfully, insanely in love with this man at first sight. His raven hair and piercing eyes lured me into the sea like a Siren.

 We danced the night away; his hand firmly molded to the small of my back like it was a part of my own body. Lindsey watched gleefully from her table, smiling like she just won the lottery. She was right… I was flying. Flying right into a place I didn’t need to. It was too soon, but when you are lost in the moment, everything wrong seems right. We left the reception for a moonlit walk around the park. For a place that seemed to be so scary to me at night, I was fearless as I walked hand in hand with my newfound knight in shining armor. The stars glittered the water and sparkled like diamonds as we shared a stolen kiss. “I have never loved anyone more than I love you at this moment,” he whispered to me, “Nothing can be more perfect than this.” I was scared for a second, and then started to fall deeper and deeper into the spell he was casting over me.  What could possibly go wrong tonight? Tonight was the first night in a long time I felt free. 

The next morning, I awoke to the sounds of loud voices and sirens. Someone screamed, “I am with NYPD move out of my way!” All around me the fountain was raining red with my blood, and my prince had disappeared.  I sat up to meet my mangled body, and it was that moment I realized I was dead.  Here I sit on this staircase, staring back into this terrace, where my soul is forever trapped. Day after day and I try to remember the details of the night I was flying. The memories always seem to fade with the dawn, so when the moon is set and the stars are perfectly aligned, I go to that place of the stolen kiss and try to remember. Remember everything. Sometimes I hear his voice again as he leaned into me and said, “Steven says hello…” and everything fades into black. 

Friday, April 9, 2010

ABC's of today...

Alarm clock goes off at 6:00 am
But I didn't want to wake up...
Cozy in my bed I was, and Jason was still snoring away.
Dazed, I turned off the alarm and snuggled deeper under the covers...
Eventually, I resorted to kicking myself out of bed.
FRIDAY! I shouted, so excited. That means Jeans DAY!
Good lord this tile is cold! I thought as I trod into the bathroom to start my morning routine...
Happily I sauntered into the kitchen, where I fed my screaming cats.
Is it really time to get up? Or can I just go back to sleep?
Jason! I scream... You have GOT to get out of bed! It is almost 6:30!
Kicking and screaming, he finally awakes.
Loudly, he protests also going to work today.
Men, I thought... can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.
Now it was almost 6:45... I had to leave to go to work...
Oh how I needed some Starbucks this morning! I owed it to myself.
Peddling it to the metal I headed to my destination
Quickly I ordered a ham breakfast sandwhich and a tall bold blend coffee, with a little cream please.
Racing down 71, I made it to WMS.
Sweetly greeted by the smell of Kim-Chee, I knew it was Korea studies time in Pawpaw Patterson's room.
Time to teach!
Under the radar, I concealed my bad hair day, by sporting my pomeranian hair-do
Victory is mine!!! 3:25 has arrived!
Whisking myself off to a much needed weekend...
eXamining myself as a writer...
Yearning to be published...
ZZZZZzzzzz.... A dreamer can dream? Can't she?

Monday, April 5, 2010

I affirm you... clap, clap, clap.

It is so good to have people in your life that help you live your dream. I SUPER heart a certain soup maker (you know who you are...) that is fostering my inner writing self. She kicked my butt and started my writing craze once upon a December day. She has kept me on my toes and checked in to make sure I am doing it... then today, gave me a book about "how to get published." It pains me knowing someday soon I may have to leave that school to be at one closer by. I know I still have one year left in me... Could I just pack her in my things and bring her to my new school? Super LOVE. xoxo

Friday, April 2, 2010

I miss having friends close by...

What is it about a glass of wine and a porch that is so magical? I am reminiscing about years gone by, where all it took was a glass of wine, a porch, and great friends to make for a great time. Laughing, laughing, laughing... with a black lab named Harley, and some antique lawn chairs. What happened to those times? I graduated college, got a professional job, and got married. Why does that have to change things? I have that same glass of wine, my own porch now... but those friends are just memories that sit there with me, living distances away. I laugh with myself, and wonder... if I stop remembering, will you go away? The breeze blows, and a sit in my own little world. Remembering those good times. Come friend, come on over... you can sit on my porch. The wine is cold, and the sun is shining. I have some gossip to share with you...

Friday, March 26, 2010

A good day on the block...

I awoke this morning, and wasn't to thrilled that I had to get up extra early. You see, I had a parent meeting this morning. Parent meetings can make a great day really bad, or they can make a bad day your worst ever. I have had some positive ones in my day... but they are few and far between. This one was awesome. It was a good reprieve from the norm. These parents are REAL 'parents'!! They knew and put full responsibility for their child's actions/grades, on THEIR CHILD! It was amazing! So often these days, a lot of parents want to make it my fault their child is failing.

My students were even pretty well behaved today. I usually have total chaos on Fridays. Especially when the weather is changing. I even took a class to the computer lab, which usually spells out disaster. They were silent and WORKING! WOWZERS!

The highlight however, came when I brought a class to the library to meet our author speaker, Rupert Issacson (author of The Horse Boy). I bought a copy of The Horse Boy and he signed it for me. I always love getting an autographed copy of a book. I had one of those dork moments in the presence of someone famous. I told him he had my dream job. He replied (and imagine a thick SUPER AWESOME british accent), "What's that? Being a writer?" "Uh-huh," was all I could get out. "Well, that's easy!" he says,"All you have to do is write a book!" I laughed, almost sarcastically. Then he had the nerve to ask if I was writing anything right now. OF COURSE I AM! But I feel totally unworthy to even talk about my meager little writing excursions on the 'ol Mac to this published author. I reply sheepishly, "Well, I have been playing with a few fiction pieces that haven't turned into anything, and well... a memoir about my journeys as a teacher." "Which one do you totally love?" He asked. I answered that the memoir was my fav at the moment, and we preceded to have a conversation about ME... WRITING... it was very cool, and extremely out of place feeling. I was glad he didn't laugh, or respond with a "that's nice" or something else you might expect from a "big timer".

I get home to be greeted with an eager chef husband, who wants to go to Central Market to get goodies for dinner. He feels the need to grill me a steak... a $35 ribeye.... No one is complaining!

As I draw the evening to a close, here I am at 9:45 at night, sipping some super lovely Pinot Grigio I discovered at HEB (Bandit, comes in a 500mL box-bottle.... I can drink the whole thing and not be a super lush!), smelling the grill churning out my late night dinner, with my favorite cat Baylee sitting beside me... He is so ready for the weekend, so he can spend some good time with his momma.

Spring is upon us! and with Spring comes new. I may just try this author thing out. Everyone has a story, right?

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

He's everywhere!!


I have a small peach tree in my back yard. It maybe stands shoulder high to me. Over spring break I got the novel idea I was going to garden... I stepped outside to find TONS of these pink delicate blossoms all over it. I have another, reaching 8 feet tall. This one is still sleeping off the winter, and doesn't have a single leaf or bloom on it! I was thrilled to see these. A little sign of God's beauty and springtime. This day I decided to get down and dirty, and I was by myself. I hate digging in the dirt. I get scared every time I start to get into long grass and weeds. "If I find a snake, Satan himself, meandering in my garden..." I am telling this to my husband to warn him if he hears the 12 gauge go off, not to fear, it is just me, blowing away the devil in the back yard. Luckily I didn't have to do that, but there is something into digging in the dirt that is metaphorical for so many things.

Life is that way. So many times we feel like an abandoned flower bed. We started out with such a wonderful goal, clean, beautiful, new. As time goes on, the beauty dries up and dies-- unwanted friends come in, and stay longer than we wanted them to. Ugly grasses take roots, like bad habits and bury deep in the soil, that it is virtually impossible to get them up; unless you take a trowel and make big holes-- scarring the earth, but patching it back up little by little. I found a bed like that back there.

After digging, and digging, pulling and scratching at the dirt with my cultivator, I found a row of small fence pickets... and within, 2 vines, looking like skeleton sticks jetting out of the dirt. One had buds of leaves bursting through, just like they were trying to once upon a time...

I talked to the vine, admiring how it was trying to be brave, amidst the weeds, grass and scary ant hills that had taken up residence in it's heart. I rescued those vines, and now they are bursting with greenery. I still have no idea what they are. They were left here by the previous homeowner, abandoned and forgotten. I gave them life again! Someone else I know is good at that, and if you just let him take his tools to your weeds, some real pretty flowers can come out of it. Let him get his trowel. Just sit there and let him figure out how to garden... sometimes you have to transplant a flower for it to thrive. Grow where you are planted.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

stop the madness!


This is what I have been dealing with since I got home today.... Baylee is blatantly protesting me working at home. I shoo him off of the pile, only for him to return again. He head butts me in the face, and says, "Momma... you have been at work all day. It is time to hang up the grading pen, and spend time with me..." I wish I could do that. How many people are there in this world that clock out at the end of the day, and that's where it ends? Not us teachers! Normally bringing work home is NOT my policy. With Jason being a teacher too, we would never talk to each other if he and I brought grading home. However, it is progress report time once again, and here I am... scrambling to get it done. Maybe I need to assign less work... or become a published author, PDQ. Till then, I am off to find some cat nip to distract the protestor...

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Spring break in a nut shell...

Warm sun
planting
rainy day
planting
Houston
visit with parents
sister and brother-in-law come
mall time
I suck at grilling...
missing my Jason.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

oil change : pap test :: waiting in line at the dmv : root canal

I wrote this story a while back, and feel it deserves to be a part of the block. I have entered it into a funny women contest... we'll see if I am worthy. Until then, party on.

The Oil Change Anomaly—having a vagina does not mean I don’t know anything about cars…

Chevrolet was so kind to include a nice message center on the gauge cluster of the model I own. An idiot light, if you ask my father. It just so happened that the idiot light had been on for quite some time, and this idiot had ignored it… for several months… Ok, so it has been like 7 months since my last oil change! Big deal! I know, I know, I am just sticking a gun to my truck’s head waiting to pull the trigger. I know I need to do it, but if I don’t do it myself, I have to go to one of those places, where the nasty oil stained men all believe my IQ is smaller then the 15mm socket they are going to have to use to get off the nut to my oil pan. Assholes… The day has come where I finally cave, and get in Ol’ Blue to cruise on over to the nearest oil changing facility, to either embarrass the man behind the counter, or to make everyone in the petroleum scented waiting room think I am a heinous bitch.
I pull into the Texaco Xpress-Lube (and lord knows you should bring some, at the prices they charge…) and pull into a parking spot. No sooner have I turned the key off, a burly man, bald shaved head, looking like he just got off of parole, comes sauntering up to my car. This guy looks quite triumphant as I waltz out of my pickup, giant Coach purse in tow, tilt my diva purple-leopard sunglasses and say, “I just need an oil change.” I toss him my keys and go into the waiting room, where you feel dirty just breathing in the air. I wish I would have brought me some Starbucks, I sigh… then remember I have a packet of their VIA stashed in my purse for emergencies… I look at the pot they have in the corner of coffee that may have well been used motor oil, and water that was tinted about the same shade… no gracias, I am not about to die of cholera infested water today… I sit down.
Moments later, oil change man has come to the counter with a piece of paper… I already know what is about to happen… He is going to call me up and tell me all the millions of filters that need to be changed in my truck or some other crap. I think they do this to women because they think we have not a clue in this world what is going on with a vehicle… and if you happen to be one of those women.. then God bless your poor wretched soul… The day I got a driver’s permit was the day my Daddy made me change the oil and work on it myself. Here he goes… “Miss uh Woodell?” “WoodALL” I correct him. Seriously…. 2 syllables.. it’s phonetic.. Wood, All. “You have 125,000 miles on that truck, right?” “Something like that…” I reply. “Well, you see… there is some stuff that needs to happen to keep this thing a runnin’.” He starts jotting down a list of fluids and differentials and filters… high mileage oil, after the hen scratches and calculator buttons flying… my $40 oil change has now just become $700. I stare at him with a look that could scare the devil himself… “No, just a standard oil change… with an oil filter.” “But Ma’am!..” I interrupt, “Oil… Change… only….” Now he says he needs my address to put in the system… He’s probably going to come slash my tires later. “203, Jennifer Ln. and that’s here in Bastrop” I tell him. “Jennifer Ln.! Well, dead gum! You live on your own street don’t ye?” He replies, with a thick twang that would even make Jeff Foxworthy want to puke. “Well did they name it after you or was it already like that?” He asks. “Already there,” I humor him, “anything else?” “Nope, that’ll do it!” he says, and I go sit back down. The next 10 minutes go by like hours as another woman comes in with her daughter’s Lexus. I hear her go through the same thing… like a moron, she accepts the deal and sits down and tells me her life story… Does it look like I want to talk to you? I think to myself. Once I’m free, I write the check, get into my truck, to discover the asshole has changed my radio station! Why do they do that? Do you need to listen to my radio that bad? I peel out of the parking lot and pass Autozone… next time, I am doing it myself…

On writing...

So, I have perused several sites for writing and joined a few over the course of several days... and what I am beginning to discover is a SUPER humbling experience that is a slight bitter pill to swallow. I don't have a shit clue how to write. There! I said it! I am a WRITING TEACHER!!! But does that mean I have the audacity to attempt to become a published writer? BOY do I have a lot to learn! So here I am muse, I am your clay. Mold me into something super, this is what I pray...

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Not every girl needs pompoms...


Not every girl needs pompons. In fact, it would be a lot better if some girls didn't have pompons. Why does our society feel like we need to give everyone a chance to be something they are not? I don't understand it. In life, there isn't always ice cream for everyone. . . This is my view from on top of the soap box.

Monday, March 1, 2010

A bittersweet cookie...


Basketball season ended at our house on Friday. Such a bittersweet cookie. I have never seen so many boys cry in 11one gym. One of those boys happened to be mine. My heart ached for all of them... losing by eight points is so hard. Especially when you are ready to keep moving on. That's a bitter pill to swallow. The sweet morsel to this tale happens when I get home from School, like I did today, and my darling coach is home before dinner time! That is when things are the best. We get to meet each other, almost like it is the first time, and get caught up on what has happened the last six months. Oh Basketball! It brings me many, many joys... but I like having my coach home the best. Hello! My name is Jenn, remember me?

Thursday, February 18, 2010

The antithesis of me...

Baylee, Ladle and Annabelle-- Snakes, Roaches and RATS
Juxtaposition and synonymity
warm, happy, summer days with not a care in the world-- cold, windy, cloudy mornings with an ice scraper in hand... here we go again.
A cold glass of some classy wine--maybe even a little unclassy, while some of the time, it's nasty tap water.
Good friends, loved ones, good times-- people that backstab, lie and start rumors.
I love you, I hate you
warm nuzzles and cold snouts
Cold feet and Warm cuddles
Can you help me? I have the answer.
Is it Oatmeal? Is it Belgian Waffles?
Shrimp Tempura Sushi and Cafeteria chicken and noodles.
Strawberries and chocolate
gummy bears and those strawberry candies the Elementary Spanish teacher used to give out
pink and brown, although together they make perfect harmony.
Basketball
Baseball
war
and
love
Harry Potter and Twilight
Say Good Morning, Say Good night.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

When teachers actually GET to teach...

When teachers actually get to teach
and get to put down their grading pens
Stop worrying about TAKS tests, and hurt feelings…
When teachers can be teachers
Not moms
Or dads
Or counselors
Zookeepers Or problem solvers…
When teachers can show their kids all the way to the moon and back
Without fear of breaking a rule
Or making someone mad for deviating off of what they feel you should teach
When teachers can share advice with a student
And not be criticized for what they believe.
When teachers love to go to work
Because they get to do what they dreamed of
When someone finds that school
Give them my number, and i’ll be first in line to put my name on a door.