Random thoughts... and such

1. Why is it that sheep don't shrink when it rains on a hot day, but if my sweater is wet and gets a little warm, I can't wear it anymore?

2. Why is it that strange little children come up to me in public and ask me questions? Does something magical happen when you become a teacher? Do you gain a certain "school smell" that attracts strange kids?

3. Why don't people accept good advice from someone experienced?

4. Why is humor and sarcasm such a big deal to some people? Are there just people in this world that "don't get it?" Will they ever "get it?" and if they don't... can I send them to live on their own island?

5. Is it acceptable to punch random annoying people in the face? Or is a stink eye perfectly acceptable? What if they don't get the stink eye... See #4. I am sure they are the same type of people.

6. There some people that should not even think about reproducing... I think all the condoms the government wants to dish out to Kindergartners and school children should be sent UPS express to these individuals. With a color fold out of instructions, and why they are doing society a favor. (Yes.... you may be offended by this one. But you KNOW there is someone you have seen/know/are related to that falls in this category...)

7. There are some people in this world that need to realize that grammar and correct speech save lives... especially in my presence. 

8. It feels good to be on my soap box sometimes.. I should do it more often. At the moment, my darling baby thinks it's a good idea to have an ice cream cone. While in the future, I am sure I will say no, because it will ruin her dinner... but seeing as how I could devour a whole Brontosaurs solo at the moment.... I think she has a great idea.

peace, love, ice cream and pickles...

hormonal pregnant rants are awesome.

A baby! What?... A baby?

Yes, that's right. There is going to be a baby in JFTB land, and that baby happens to be mine! You can imagine over the course of 3 months how hard it has been to not want to just sign in and blog about every little moment. Well, some people I know are quick to jump the gun and want to tell the world they are having a baby before the pee on the pregnancy test is dry... I feel, however, a practical approach to things is sometimes best, and I'm glad I did. For one, I have discovered that when you officially tattoo your forehead "I'M PREGNANT" every woman over the age of 50 has some horror story to tell you, or they want to talk about their pregnancy or this and that, breast this, blood and guts... blah blah blah.

Sorry ladies, the only uterus this girl cares about is her own. Please save the blood and gore for another victim. Which makes me wonder... why are they compelled to tell you that crap? Technology is so much better than it was 30 years ago. My ultrasound pictures resemble a baby growing in my body, if I were to whip out my baby book and take a look at the sonogram picture, it would resemble something that looks like someone forgot to pay their cable bill. I don't understand why older women want you to hear about Aunt Mable's 38 hr labor with no drugs, down at the barn and Uncle Jed had to cut the cord with his rusty pocket knife before the doctor could even get there.... I'm already pregnant. If you want to decrease the number of teen pregnancies, this should be your audience, not me. I have a career and I'm willingly starting a family, the "right way".

I will say, at the moment it is still slightly surreal. I have passed the sick and tired stage, thank goodness, although I can proudly say that I never had bad "morning sickness" (it's ok, if you did... you can hypothetically punch me now), I never threw up (but I can say I came close, but I have an intense fear of barf... even if it's my own, which probably psyched me out of barfing... yes, and I'm going to have an infant...), just very tired and not feeling myself. Now I'm in a new place, where none of my clothes fit, but the maternity clothes I bought (because I don't see the point in buying clothes I may or may not be able to wear in a few months... why not go in for the long haul) are in an awkward not totally fitting right phase. When I think I feel HER (because it is going to be a girl... ) I discover it is just the wonderful blessing of pregnancy gas. Although, the other day, I did feel like a little goldfish was swimming in there... you know, like when you have a goldfish in the bag, and it is bumping the sides trying to get out?  

It's all new, and it's all exciting. I have such GREAT friends that are moms and new moms. I can't wait to learn a lot from them. I'm just hoping I'm as awesome of a mom as my mom... because she's the cat's pajamas.


 

FML...

let's recap.... a series of events from the last hour. After being gone almost a week, we come home to a snake slithering in front of the house, Jason kills it by slamming it with a rubber mallet. Inside the house, I discover that 2 of 3 cats somehow got locked in the guest room and made a HORRID mess, (meaning they pooped all over the floor in front of the door, and throughly peed all over the folded comforter on the bed). They somehow ruined Jason's brand new Calvin Klein suit (with the tags still on, and plastic bag cover) that was on the floor outside the room, (it was hanging in the doorway when we left) It seems while digging at the door in panic they brought some of the suit under the door, and peed on it also ripping the sleeve), AND we discovered the water hose had been left on the whole time we were gone. Fortunately (maybe) the sprayer attachment was on, but water was shooting out like Spindletop from the spigot at the top of the hose. 
So... A.) I'm thankful our house wasn't broken into.
 B.) That would have topped it all off. We could have torched the place at stayed the night at a Holiday Inn.


 Needless to say, Team Woodall hates life right now... And Baylee and Ladle are recovering concentration camp victims.

Good things brewing on the block...

There are some good things in store for JFTB. I must say, in the last 2 months I have been privy to some of God's greatest blessings, and can't wait to see what else he has in store. On a side note, I must say, I am NOT a green thumb by any means, but I can manage to grow a mean banana pepper... (As my Ouiser Boudreaux spring break garden experiment hoped to produce)

As you can see, some are twice the length of my index finger! I've seen these pickled and ready to go for sandwiches at Subway, but I don't know much else about them. Guess we'll see! This has to be the worst blog post in the history of blogs, but I haven't felt much like writing lately... Do I have a fever? Am I sick? Maybe the writing bug will bite soon... In the mean time. Happy growing! Sometimes the secret is in the garden keeper! :)