Recruiting helpers

So today I was thrilled to find flowers on sale. I bought a new watering can and Jax a special one too. He LOVED helping me water my plants today. He even got his hands dirty and helped me transplant the white geraniums. I mowed my ridiculous lawn and threw on some weed and feed. It was old, so I am hoping it doesnt fry my grass. Like.... bought before I knew I was preggo with Jax old... Then he helped me water it, because apparently I am too stupid to operate my sprinkler. I successfully watered one side of the lawn, then it got confiscated by the other adult that lives here and thrown on a top shelf in the garage. Good thing I am going to school this summer...I must not be fit for living if I can't run a sprinkler....but I teach kids to read. Go fig?

He did such a good job... he kept telling me, "Wanna do it like a big boy!" then he would water a bit, then drop the hose and say, "Ok! Momma's turn!" then after he got ancy-- wanted to be a big boy again. I love that he wants to help me. It makes my life easier all the time. He has such a good heart-- it fills mine up!

My Star...

Meet my Jaxarooney. He's all that and a bag of chips... The time I have dreaded has come. I have 5 days left as a stay at home Momma. I have tried and tried not to think about it, but ever since Sunday, I find myself pausing at taking in all of the little things... when I soak it all in and appreciate it, it always comes with the shedding of several tears. Life just isn't fair. Isn't fair.... I know this is a phrase that will surely come to haunt me over the next 18 years. Yes, Jaxon... life isn't fair baby boy. Why does Momma have to have a job outside of the home just so we can make ends meet? Why do we not live in a time where I can stay with you all the time anymore? Why do I have to pay someone, a stranger, to raise you for me all day... just to spend a few hours with you to do it all over again? It isn't fair alright... and I don't like it at all... Let me share with you a few of things I'll miss the most...

His little hands...

He discovered them today. Yep... something so simple as that. There he was, just staring at his little hands, wondering where they came from, what they are? I wonder the same thing... what will they do when you grow up? Will you remember me holding them? Will you remember grasping my finger and holding so tight, never letting go? Will they sign a peace declaration one day? Perform life saving surgery? Conduct an orchestra? Dribble a basketball, scoring the winning shot in an NBA game? Who knows.... but I will miss them so much.

That sleeping angel...

Right after he's nursed himself into a milk drunken stupor, and still laying there, all cuddled up against me. He sleeps and sleeps and sleeps... sometimes he gets put in his crib, his pack and play... but at lot of times, I just like to leave him there and look at him.




Speaking of Milk drunken stupors...

This was from the first couple of days after he was born... DAYS! Now it's almost been 2 months... MONTHS! he's peaceful like me in a tryptophan induced happiness after Thanksgiving...

Creative nap time...

Like when you pray he'll stay asleep, even though he flopped on his back, which he hates... Keeping the binky in so he won't wake up, by having his monkey hold it.... all new Momma things to learn, and figure out...

Cousin visits...

 I miss my sisters a lot. It is amazing when I see my little nephew how much he has grown in such a short time... I helped my sister move into her first home of her own... It was so hot that day as we were finished packing that the boys went "redneck" and paraded in their diapers... It made us laugh. They both passed out in their car seats. It makes me wonder what is in store with the two of them...

Seeing him in the mornings when Jason talks to him... even though Daddy's don't quite "have it" like Mommies do. I love seeing him interact with our little boy. This was him before we left for church on Sunday... isn't he something?

Something... something I'm gonna miss. Get ready my friends... there isn't a stock of Kleenex big enough to hold back the flood that's coming. Love him... so much it hurts.

So this is what they were talking about... you know? That thing where they say you will die or do anything for your kids?

It makes too much sense to me.

A disappointing water ballet symphony of my in-utero cohabitant

It amazes me how sound waves can give you a picture like this... Most of the time, when we have done these, it looks like something straight from your TV if you didn't pay the cable bill... It looks this way, AND it didn't help that my precious little boy has body part names tattooed on his face like a science book. Nice.  We had an encounter today after taking an almost 18 week hiatus from seeing each other. Last time I saw this little darling, I was just finding out he was a boy...

Yep... they did it even then. As if my college education or the moment I paid attention in Health class (to get me in this predicament to begin with) would not tell me what exactly THAT was I was seeing... and last I checked, it wasn't called "boy!!". If this is where our Science curriculum is going, our future is screwed. I am proud to say, he is still a boy, even by a "science-word" absent ultrasound technician's standard (I'm thinking about Juno's mother...). When we met this time, his little lips were sucking away and he was sticking out his tongue as if he was saying, "HEY MOM! It is past lunch! I need food!" I started talking to him, and his little eye brows starting talking back... It made me melt. He knows his Momma's voice! It makes me more and more excited every moment to meet him... It's just going to be a while... 2 weeks and 4 days to go. We haven't made any progress yet, but I know we'll be there sooner than we know it! So, I have been up since 2 am with contractions and all mighty discomfort-- and there isn't anything happening, it made me a little disappointed the discomfort was all for naught.

 Until we meet for rizzle my little water ballerin-o... keep it real foo.