Today made me smile.

I had make up and hair do-age in full effect, Mama-O in the hizzle, makes for a smiley JFTB fo shizzle!

Even if my students act like total poo-poos this week, I can already call it a good week. Fuzzy Friday can't get here fast enough. It'll be Fuzzy Friday... extra fuzzy, just like old times.

Me Gusta.

There is much happiness in the land, and it smells like fish... sort of.

Last night, I got to spend some time with my BFF-FF-FFF (aka The General). I got to sous chef some delightful ligurian fish stew, and plan for an all out jihad on bad writing. Ok, bad writing may be stretching it, and if heard from the ears of my students (or their parentals for that matter...) would cause many to be in therapy for years to come. The heart of the matter is, this is a rough year for me as a writer and a teacher of all things writing. I have a group this year of some struggling writers, who have ear muffed all my pleas of syntax, and my incessant calls to arm themselves with the plumes of writing awesomeness.

This week though, it fiddin' to go down. There will be a trifecta of teachage happening. It's gonna rock.

Right now, I am feeling a little like Linus with a "fresh out of the dryer" blankie. ````and `that my friends, it happiness... (kind of like all the ACCE!NT!S and other weird typing THAT is the result of your keyboard being hi-jacked by a 1 year old.... He's a blogger in training.)

You suck at writing

Yep. I do. No blog since the New Year. Ugh... This one is uber forced, as I don't feel like writing at all right now (gasp!) My baby turned one though 4 days ago. I still can't capture it all in words, but I am remembering even through the insane tired new Mommy fog, the sense of absolute euphoric insane love I felt (and still feel) for my little man. It warms me up and coasts me through moments like this, when I really just want to hide under the covers and pretend that my dreams are real life.

Happy New Year!

It's a new year. A time for new beginnings. I spent the eve at some precious friend's wedding. Grandmomma JFTB watched the baby J while me and Daddy J went out for some very RARE p-a-r-t-y-ing. It was good to get out sans mini-me and have a good time with the Mr. Taking time for each other is something that hasn't happened over the course of the **almost** 11 months. I realize that this is probably why 2011 (besides the fact that a baby was in the picture, we had a job change, among others...) was kind of rocky. There are a lot of things I want to happen in 2012. Losing weight is always at the top of my list.... I don't make resolutions anymore. I suck at keeping them, and why lie to myself? I do need to be healthier, though. That is going to cost me a relationship with my boyfriend, Mr. Bacon. We have filed for a divorce, he is bad for my health. Perhaps he has a leaner twin I can hook up with instead. I need to be healthier not only for me, but for my Baby boy. He needs his Momma around for a long time. I am also reading a book via my super star Kindle Fire, called "My so called life as a Proverbs 31 wife." I am LOVING it. She is sarcastic, she writes just like me (it's like I am telling the story to my self.... me gusta!). It's all about a woman's journey to be the "Proverbs 31" wife. If you have ever read the scripture, you would know it's the superstar wife chunk of the bible. While a lot of it seems real hard to accomplish, I am going to see just what I can do. I'm a third through the book, and this woman is going through what I am. She just doesn't see the practical in how you can do it this day and age. BUT she is finding ways.... interesting.

So, here is to an awesome 2012. Regardless of you Mayans, my Jesus has this year thing on lock. Stick to making chocolate drinks and pyramid thingys and let's all just have a good year.

Ready.... Set!..... WRITE!

So, realizing I haven't done this thing... AGAIN for a month has me frazzled. I seemed however, to get a little bit of the bug back. I crocheted a masterpiece this week... it took me 3 days. It's a Yoda hat for my darling secret santa. I have a picture, but he told me I would die if I posted it on the internet world, so I may need to edit it so the world can see. It truly was an awesome hat. Making the hat made me feel like several things can happen....

1. I can write again. I also discovered, via a co-worker, some students of mine have created their own You Tube channels and are "vlogging". Video Blogging? and while they are somewhat humourous... there are a few that look like bad attempts in creating the Blair Witch project. So if they can put themselves out there making a video for the world to see about absolutely nothing, I can totally write about SOMETHING... be the Obi Wan, JFTB, geez!

2. I can get more cleaning done on week nights. maybe.

3. Maybe I can take 5 more minutes in the morning to slap on some mascara.... we'll see.

Hoping for good things in 2012. 2011 Started beautifully... I got a perfect baby boy, and I have learned just the beginning of being a Momma.

Oh yeah, I am going to my BFFs house tomorrow... finally! It took a month, but I finally have sucked her in and out of her hidy hole. I'm bringing some other divas with me.

Christmas break is here... I promise to write more. Promise, promise.

Cue the awkward turtle swimming by...

It's 8:15, do you know where your husband is? Yep. Mine is assisting coaching a basketball game, and I am not there. ASSISTING. It's weird to think of him as just an assistant coach, when our whole married existence he has been a head coach of his own basketball program. I also feel lost because I am not assuming my position behind the bench smiling as he looks back at me with his eyes saying, "What the F was that?!? Did you see that call? I am about 2.5 from throwing this clipboard at a ref..." I am not sure how I feel about the oh so many changes swirling about. I love our son with all my being, and being home with him right now is the absolute right thing in the world... but I can't help but miss the feeling of hardwood on my butt from sitting in the bleachers of a basketball gym. We'll get our shot here in a few weeks when a home game comes around. I will be excited to get to show Jax the ropes of basketball game watching. Maybe i'll teach him a few cheers along the way.... I used to be a cheer coach in my past life too. Did you know that?

By the way.... did you notice I am writing? I need to get in the habit of doing it more often. 9 months of Jaxon's life has gone by, and I have done a horrid job of cataloging it. Just awful. I bought the coolest baby book I could find, with all kinds of places to write things down. Guess when the last time I wrote in it was?..... yep. His 2 week check up. IN FEBRUARY. I get a little P-O'd when people tell me "Girl! You have a baby, it's all good! Things like that happen..." Yeah. They do... but too many things are 'happening' and I am not sure how I feel about being ok with my life just crumbling out from under me! Try these on for size:

1. My house MOST of the time looks like something straight up out of Hoarders. No lie. There have been dishes in my sink since Sunday night. THey are still there.... they may still be there tonight, because I am too tired to even think of fooling with them.

2. My bedroom has gone from Sanctuary to insane asylum. It is floor to ceiling of crap. Mostly laundry in different phases of life.... dirty, clean, and questionable.

3. I can't remember the last time I wore make up.

4. I can't remember the last time I cooked a meal for my husband that didn't involve a microwave or something pre packaged.

5. I've used a good majority of my birthday money on Starbucks because I don't have time to eat breakfast and can't afford to stop there every morning otherwise... seeing my barista Deeanne (yes... we know each other) makes me smile. There's a new guy though in the mornings, and he gets on my nerves... and he doesn't know my name... AND he can't pronounce Caramel Brulee Latte. Or when I ask for a triple grande, he has to get clarification on what I mean.... and he doesn't understand that a Venti Ice water means the big cup... not the little cup.

6. I don't know what it means to exercise unless I pick up my child.

7. I eat bad food, because it makes me happy, and because I am busy.

8. I cry inside every time I have to go to school because I drive an hour to there and an hour home and I miss out on time with my son.

9. I cry again because my students are horrid and I can't afford to be a stay at home mom with a little boy I really want to see... because I see him less hours a week than the "other" kids...

10. I am sucking real bad at the little things that mean a lot (ahem... lesson plans) at work. I never used to be late in turning in lesson plans, or showing up for or remembering duty. It doesn't matter what time I leave my house... and I usually leave around 6:30 in the morning... I still don't get to school until about 8.

11. I can't manage to get ahead in any aspect of life.

Is this normal? I am sure it is... and I know someone is going to tell me it gets better... but when? I'd like the pipe dream i'm chasing to come true. Maybe I should just take that money going to coffee and start buying scratch offs.

Did I mention I am writing again? It's kind of a big deal... I like it a lot. a real whole lot....

It's also my BFFs birthday this week. I probably won't get to see her. That's another story. I miss her like crazy. I have realized lately just how lost I really am without her guiding me along. Maybe that's why I suck so bad this year as a teacher? I've had to completely go solo without my safety net.

So the random blabbing this is turning into is my cue to push publish and call it a night. Hopefully my darling son will sleep in his crib the whole night... as much as I LOVE him snuggling in between me and daddy at night, I would like some normalcy back. Just a little. Do I sound like a whiney grump yet? Maybe I need some wine to stop whining. Ugh.... Thanksgiving break, are you here yet?

30 days of Thankfulness

My darling friend started this 30 day thankfulness thing on Facebook. I think it is an awesome idea. Why just focus on things you are thankful for on just Thanksgiving?

I can think of a few off hand that will sure make the list...

1. Bacon
2. Bacon flavored things
3. Any food containing bacon

Ok... in all seriousness, bacon makes the world a better place. I am thankful for pigs and their sacrifice for the advancement of bacony goodness on this Earth. I thankful for other things too...

1. My parents. They celebrated their 32nd wedding anniversary yesterday. I hope to accomplish that and many more. Marriage is hard. Real hard.... It is even harder when you throw a baby in the mix. I am finding this out all the time. They have not only survived each other, but raising 3 VERY DIFFERENT hormone charged daughters. That is really saying something.

2. My husband. We may not always get along, agree, say the nicest things, help each other out the way we need to... but he is a great dad to our son, and after 13 years, still is my bff.

3. My son. That little boy is the reason I wake up every morning, literally and figuratively speaking.... You would think so too hearing his laugh...

4. Coffee. Without it, I would have died in several wrecks on the way to work. It keeps me going...

Realizing It's too late for coffee... A buzz kill is about to take place. 

This Momma is mucho tired, and although I started out strong.... This heifer's had it.

Good night, sleep tight... think of bacon and all is alright.